In the northern style, language/terms are more formal and precise.
If the southern style, or addressing southerners, things can be more informal.
Basic terms to address an older person:
- ông, bà are your grandparent’s equals
- bác (both male, female) are your parent’s older equals
- chú/cô (father’s side), cậu/dì (mother’s side) are your parent’s younger equals
When meeting someone on the street without knowing their relationship to you, if they are really old (same/older than your grandparents), then you address them as ông, bà; otherwise, bác (older than your parents), chú, cô (younger than your parents) are acceptable.
Saying ‘hello/goodbye’:
Chào is ‘informal’ hello/goodbye. If you greet someone you already know, chào is acceptable. It can be used with your grand/parents if allowed and in an informal setting; otherwise could be seen as impolite. If you want to be extremely polite, use dạ chào <title>.
Thưa can be used when (you are formally) addressing someone older than you. It could also be used as a formal ‘hello’ or a formal acknowledgement when meeting an older person for the first time that day. If you want to be extremely polite, use dạ thưa <title>.
When addressing an older person, it’s acceptable to add the word ‘dạ‘ in front of any sentence/phrase to be extremely polite.
Acknowledging someone:
These 3 terms, vâng, dạ, ừ , are used as a polite acknowledgement of/to a person (similar to ‘please sir/mam’ or ‘yes sir/mam’), or a polite way of saying “yes, I see/hear you”.
vâng – is strictly a northern Vietnamese word; used by almost everyone as a polite acknowledgement in the following scenarios:
- from a younger person to an older person
- from people at equal level (age or socioeconomic status)
- sometimes but very rarely, from an older person to a younger person. It’s used mostly in a formal setting, or during an endearing chatting with family members or members within/among the higher status
- it’s used (rarely) in very polite situations, by a person of higher socioeconomic status to a person of lower status
dạ – is both a northern/southern word; used almost exclusively as a polite acknowledgement in the following scenarios:
- from a younger person to an older person
- from a person of lower socioeconomic status to one with higher status
- from people at equal level (age or socioeconomic status)
ừ – is both a northern/southern word; used by mostly (almost exclusively) as a simple acknowledgement in the following scenarios:
- from an older person to a young’un
- from an older person to anyone in a lower status
dạ vâng – is used as a double politeness (northern style), mostly to elders to show extreme reverent.
BuiPham 